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This is one of the things I talk about in the book (see the
main Stripper page). I’ve always been fascinated by
men who strip – not just because I’m gay –
there are a host of other reasons.
Maybe it’s because it’s something I think I could
never attempt. I mean, taking your clothes off in a room filled
with strangers (not to mention the delicious thought that
you never know who will be walking through that door to see
you!). And not just taking off your clothes – but parading
yourself around, in a sexual way, giving a highly eroticized,
sensual performance. And letting the audience touch you, take
you home in their minds, use you (in their fantasies anyway)
for their own pleasure. Well, this last part isn’t so
bad – isn’t that what we all want anyway –
being the fantasy for someone?
Truth be told, I admire the guys who do this work. They have
to have some courage, some balls (pardon the pun), and a good
sense of themselves. Or, at least that’s what I thought.
After the very first time I saw male strippers at a gay club
in New York, I was fascinated with more than just their bodies.
I wanted to know who they were, how they could do this work,
and why they chose to do it. I knew that they were more than
the bodies they displayed. Somehow, I suppose, there was this
inner sense about sexual objectification and what part that
played in the work, in the minds of the strippers and the
audiences/clients.
I think I also wondered about the stripper in all of us –
we all want to be the center of attention, the object of adulation,
the sexual fantasy of hundreds. And the stripper represents
it all. So, I wanted to see what these men are like, how they
view themselves, how they view their admirers, how they work,
how they live and love, and do the other necessary things
in life.
There were several cities and all of them have their own personal
quirks, pleasant surprises, and inanities. The cities visited
(so far):
Philadelphia
New York
Montreal
Boston
Baltimore
Toronto
Ft. Lauderdale
Chicago
Though the interview phase is over, I am always open to an
interesting story, an exciting performance, a new wrinkle
on the themes I’ve seen. So feel free to contact me
if you think you’ve got something to add to this work.
Over the course of several years, I interviewed approximately
160 strippers. Some were active and a few had stopped stripping.
Men do not often remain long in the stripping business, so
even the “retirees” were often in their 20s and
30s.
I also spoke to a large number of bar owners, strip managers,
club workers, and clients.
There are so many moments that I remember as being either
wonderful or funny or touching or even skating on the edge
of danger.
One of my favorites was when…
During the writing there was a gentleman from Virginia who
kept calling to find out when I would be finished with the
book. I couldn’t tell you where he heard about it unless
it was from strippers I’d interviewed. He was a big
fan and quite excited about the idea of the book. I received
several phone calls a year from this guy and I was always
glad to hear from him. It reminded me that there are people
out there who want to read this and it spurred me on.
Every city has something appealing, some bar/club that has
dancers who turn heads. But I have to say that Montréal
is my favorite.
They were respectful, sometimes shy, sincere, sweet, and very
open. There was a healthy dose of skepticism at first from
some of them – after all they only had my say so that
this was a project on the up and up. But once they saw that
I got down to the business of interviewing them without any
hidden agenda, they relaxed and generously told their stories.
I deal with this in the book. But the short answer is, yes.
There’s a longer answer which the book reveals.
Boy, would I ever like to! It’s a fantasy of mine. Maybe
some day…
Yes. There are plans but, one thing at a time. A Dream To
Take Home is the first and it’s what I’m working
on finishing now.
The first agent I had was all het up about doing some film
around the book. There may some day be a documentary or feature
film based on this material, I would love to do something
like that. However, as with the additional books on the topic,
all that will have to wait until this is completed. If you
want to produce something with me – by all means, get
in touch.
That there was very little haughtiness or arrogance about
the people I interviewed.
If you’ve got questions you’d like to pose,
please send them to me: jrgdem at yahoo.com and I’ll add them to the list.
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